Sunday, March 14, 2010

How can I make my husband learn to be responsible with money?

My husband keeps wasting our money on video games and other useless crap we can't afford, then he tries to hide it from me. He throws away his receipts and won't record them in the checkbook, and he has never paid a bill in his life. If I left it up to him, they would never get paid. I can't trust him with our money. I don't want to treat him like a child and take away all of his credit and debit cards, (besides he would be really really mad) but I have tried talking to him about this for the last 2 years it's been going on, and he just won't stop being irresponsible with our money. Any advice?

How can I make my husband learn to be responsible with money?
Here's what I do (because I'm in a similar situation)...


1) I stopped putting money into our joint checking account and set up my own checking account, where my paycheck automatically deposited every two weeks.


2) I got credit cards in my own name and closed all of the credit cards that we once shared.


3) I set up a high-yeild savings account (www.theapplebank.com - earning 5.14% interest with no minimums) and started having automatic withdrawls taken from my checking account as soon as my paycheck is deposited. In a few months, I started seeing some real savings, which lessened the stress and gave me the confidence of knowing that I could leave at any time if I chose to do so.


4) I put all of the "non-essential" bills into my husbands name- (like the cable, phone, etc.) If he doesn't pay them, he goes without tv and a phone.


5) I pay the rest of the bills (mortgage, electric, gas, car, insurance and my own credit cards) as if I'm single - with whatever money is left over.





Best of luck to you! You CAN do this!
Reply:you should not have married a child.
Reply:it sounds like you're going to have to treat him like a child. get rid of all ATM cards, that way you have to go inside to get cash. that'll slow him down a little. and who cares if he gets mad? last time i checked, the woman was the one who controls the zipper in the relationship. just remind him of that little fact and he'll shape up
Reply:he needs to grow up. you cant make him do that.





see if you can get him hooked on the dave ramsey plan... getting on a budget, paying off all debt, and he can still get a game... sometimes... when you save cash for it and it's in the budget.
Reply:You might have to resort to taking care of ALL the finances yourself and giving him a "weekly" allowance.. Use a budgeting program where you "plug" in all the numbers what money is coming/going etc.. It's all there in black and white.. If he wants video games and things that you just can't afford then let him pick-up a part time job to fund such things or take his used games that he doesn't play into a resale shop like GAMESTOP or THE EXCHANGE to trade in and get a credit on the new games.. That's what we do...





*Put a stop to his credit/debit card and if he "bounces" checks have him sell his video games/electronics to cover the charges. .Treat him like a little kid.... If he's going to act like one...
Reply:This is really serious. You SHOULD take away his credit and debit cards and severely limit his access to your money. He should cool down about it after a while. If he doesn't, he doesn't really care about you, and you should never have married him in the first place. Explain to him why you had to do this, and how things HAVE to work from now on. Make him budget himself with the amount of money you let him use, and reward him for good financial practice. This process will be slow, but it should train him to be responsible. If he genuinely loves you, he should be willing to do this for both of you.


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